The prompt for day 4 made me think quite a bit. It was a simple question but when I really started to think about it, thinking about my mom and my life made me really question if what I thought to be true held up. I’d say it still does, which is saying a lot coming out of 2017.
Prompt 004 — Feb.24
Think about the word purpose. What feelings arise when you consider what it means to live a purposeful life? When did you first become aware of a sense of (or lack of) purpose? What were the influences in your life at that time and how has your sense of purpose played into the decisions you’ve to get you where you are today?
As I get older, I’ve found that the things that make me happy are things that can’t be bought. I know… how fucking cliche, right? But its true. Not to say that money or material things aren’t important to me, (I’m serious, if The Universe wants to send a million dollars my way, I will GLADLY accept it.) but what I find purpose in goes beyond those things.
Growing up my mom thought me about the locus of control. She told me about to two different types, external and internal, and how having one over the other could change the course of your life. My mom’s loci was strongly internal and she projected her views on me. I remember being in middle school when I really stopped to think about if I really agreed with her view and after lots of consideration, I decided I did agree with her. I believed at a young age that I was in control of my life. I believed what I wanted I could get, as long as I believed it. My mom had me at such a young age and she still accomplished so much, she made me believe that we have the power within ourselves to make the best out of situations. She taught me how to live with purpose.
I find my purpose through my passions. I find my passions through my ability to create, to help, to learn. My life hasn’t gone according to plan but who’s ever does? I do give myself credit for being proactive and doing what I can. I’d like to think I do everything with purpose, because I don’t believe in doing things half-assed. Being internally motivated has helped push me to continue my passions even when things that were out of my control went haywire. My purpose is my passions and my passions will continue to shape the woman I am.