30-Day Writing Challenge Day 6

I’m a pen and paper kind of girl. I love the way writing feels and looks. Typing is cold and feels impersonal. For the majority of this challenge I was copying from my journal to this blog; I think I’m going to rewrite things from here on out.

Prompt 006 — Feb.26
What spaces are you standing between?
Now and then?
Here and there?
Whole and broken?
Imagine those spaces as trapeze bars: what would it take to throw your heart over the bars and let your body follow? What monkey bar are you moving from and what monkey bar are you moving to?
What does the space between
feel like?
sound like?
taste like?

The spaces I’m standing between are fear, uncertainty, depression, time. My “then”, “now” and “there” are so overwhelming too think about sometimes. To look and think about my life linearly, I can see various times I broke and I can see the time I shattered. Putting yourself back together is hard work. It takes a conscious effort to move forward and time will move on with or without you. Sometimes I picture myself like a statue that had pretty normal wear and tear until I was reduced to rubble. I’ve pieced myself back together slowly, working faster at times but other times like now, my progress seems to move at a snail’s pace. The progress moves so slow and before you know it, it stops. And after being stagnant for a while you actually start to move backwards. The spaces of fear, uncertainty, depression and time grow larger, where as before they had almost seemed non-existent. The transition from broken to whole isn’t smooth. But I wish it was. I wish it was like the transitions in “Nights” or “Pyramids”, but it is not, and it will never be.

Instead it is rough. It feels painful yet hopeful at the same time. It sounds like my mom telling me to not be afraid, while my past experiences tell me to fear everything. It tastes truly bittersweet.